My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
