y did u give ur computer a hand job?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
