She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Randomize
