i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
