hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
