i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
