dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am full of burrito and curiosity
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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