We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
