the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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