oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
