oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
