I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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