I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
