took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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