Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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