R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
