So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
