I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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