Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
