he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
