Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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