The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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