great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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