We won't sleep together?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
