3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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