I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
