I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
