And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
