He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
