At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
