All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
