are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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