I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
