Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
