Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
