In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
