You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
