Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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