Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
