I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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