fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
