What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
