It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
