I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
