Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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