I wish I could punch you in the face.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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