11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
