C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
