I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
People with herpes should wear stickers.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
