Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
