i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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